Does it seem that nothing will change?

How does hopelessness change everyday decisions?

In all four stories, a feeling takes the place of a forecast: past rejections, slow recovery or bad news start deciding for the person what will happen next. Yet next to this feeling, Olha found one manageable step.

If at least one of these stories resembles yours, try to separate what you know for certain from what the feeling predicts. The section “Hopelessness as an experience, not a verdict” explains how. If none of them fits, describe your state using the questions in the section “Let’s look more closely”.

Hopelessness as an experience, not a verdict

Long-lasting difficulties can lower your attention and make support hard to notice. This does not mean that there really are no possibilities. To see the difference, it helps to separate the feeling from a forecast:

• A feeling of hopelessness speaks in words like “never” and “nothing will work” and colours the whole future the same way.
• A forecast relies on facts: what is already known, what can still be tried and what the outcome depends on.

One question helps you tell which one you are facing: what is your certainty that nothing will change based on? If the answer is several failures in a row, as with Roman in our example, that is experience, but not proof for every future attempt. If hopelessness has spread from one difficulty to your whole life, as with Ostap, the cause lies more in your state than in the facts.

If your mood and interest in life have also been low for weeks, hopelessness can be one of the signs of depression. Hopelessness alone does not yet mean that you have this disorder.

What often comes with hopelessness?

Hopelessness is easy to confuse with other heavy experiences, because they often come together. But they answer different questions: what will happen, who I am, and what I feel right now.

• Negative view of the future. These are gloomy expectations about specific events: “the interview will go badly”, “the trip will fall through”. Hopelessness goes further: nothing can be changed at all. The page on a negative view of the future looks at how to tell a forecast from an assumption.
• Feelings of worthlessness. Here the thought is aimed not at the future but at yourself: “I am no good at anything”. Roman in our example blames himself for being passive, which is already closer to feelings of worthlessness.
• Persistent sadness. Sadness is more about what is happening now or what has been lost, while hopelessness is about what is to come. The page on persistent sadness describes lasting sorrow.
• Apathy. The inner drive to do things fades, but the future may not seem closed. You can compare this indifference with hopelessness on the page about apathy.

These experiences often intertwine: a person can see no future and blame themselves at the same time. Then it is important to describe each of them rather than choose one.

The next step can be very small

When you feel hopeless, it can be hard to see alternatives on your own. So it is important not to try to solve the whole situation at once, but to focus on the nearest step. A few techniques can help:

• Separate fact from forecast. Say out loud or write down one thought about the future, such as “nobody will hire me”, and next to it what you know for certain: “three rejections in a month”. The first is a forecast, the second is experience.
• Shrink the task to one action. Temporarily lower your demands on yourself and break a big problem into small tasks. For Roman, for example, one application to the vacancy his friend sent is enough.
• Ask for an outside view. A supportive conversation with someone close to you can help you see possibilities that are hard to notice on your own right now. For Olha in our example, such a talk with her sister helped her find a step for tomorrow.
• Limit what feeds the forecast. If in the evenings you look for proof of the worst in the news, as Vsevolod does in our example, choose a time after which you put the feed away.

After the first step, notice not whether the whole situation has been solved, but whether the sense that nothing can be done has eased a little. If even small steps seem pointless for weeks, that is a reason to discuss hopelessness with a psychiatrist.

Let’s look more closely

• How long has the feeling of hopelessness lasted, and is it getting stronger over time?
• Is it linked to a specific situation, or does it concern almost your whole life and future?
• Do you also have low mood, loss of interest, apathy or marked tiredness?
• Has it become hard to make decisions, plan or imagine a good future?
• Have you started wanting to cut yourself off from other people?
• Have your sleep, appetite, concentration or activity levels changed noticeably?

If hopelessness is tied to one situation and does not stop you from seeing the rest of your life, it is a heavy but understandable experience: start with the steps in the section “The next step can be very small”.

If it affects almost everything and comes with low mood, tiredness or a wish to withdraw from people, that is a reason not to put off talking to a specialist.

Who can you talk to when the future seems closed?

It is worth starting with a psychiatrist: they will work out what keeps the hopelessness going – long-term stress, depression or another cause – and choose help together with you. At the appointment you can describe situations in which the future seems closed and what changes alongside this feeling: sleep, energy, interest in activities, contact with people.

The initial consultation page describes what awaits you at the first meeting with a psychiatrist. You can learn about our doctors, their experience and areas of work in the clinic’s doctors section.

A one-minute check

1. If thoughts of death, of life having no point, or of self-harm appear alongside hopelessness, do not wait for a routine appointment: seek help the same day, and if you are in immediate danger, call 103 or 112 in Ukraine. How to act in this situation is described on the page “Suicidal thoughts”.
2. If the feeling of hopelessness persists, grows or starts to affect your ability to work, study, maintain relationships and look after yourself, book a consultation with a psychiatrist. Do not put it off especially if you stop seeing any point in the future, give up important plans or withdraw more and more from people.
3. If hopelessness is tied to one difficult situation and you can see at least one next step, start with it, as described in the section “The next step can be very small”. If even small steps seem pointless for weeks, go to point 2.
4. If you are more troubled by how you see yourself, by sadness or by indifference than by the future, compare your state with the descriptions in the section “What often comes with hopelessness?”.