What might this look like on an ordinary day?
Imagine Maryna missing her courtyard and neighbours after moving home. Sometimes a call home feels comforting; sometimes she feels worse afterwards.
Or Bohdan, who wakes up feeling sad for no apparent reason. He has lost his appetite and started turning down walks.
Or Olena, who finds evenings especially difficult after her mother’s death. She sits down to dinner, remembers their conversations and pushes her plate away. One evening, Olena asks her sister to stay with her: talking about the loss is still hard, but she does not want to be alone.
Or Sviatoslav, who opens the news in the evening so as not to be alone with his sadness. He lingers over the heaviest reports and puts his phone down well after midnight. In the morning the sadness is still there, and he has even less energy for the day.
Or Zlata, who is on holiday in the Carpathians: the weather is good, friends are around and nothing bad has happened. Yet inside she feels the same heaviness as at home, and she cannot understand where it comes from when “everything is fine”.
The circumstances differ in these examples, but in each one sadness changes an ordinary day. Notice what has changed for you: eating, spending time with others or other everyday activities.
If at least one of these stories resembles yours, note what your sadness is connected with: a change, a loss, or no clear reason at all, as with Bohdan and Zlata. If none of them fits, that does not make your sadness any less important: the questions in the section “Which changes are worth noticing?” can help you describe it.
How does sadness differ from similar states?
Sadness is easy to confuse with other experiences that often come with it. Here is how they differ.
- Low mood. Almost the whole day feels hard, not just thoughts about something sad: you have less energy, and sleep and appetite change. In our example, Bohdan lost his appetite along with the sadness and stopped going for walks. The page on depressed mood looks at how these changes show up during the day.
- Loss of joy. There may be no sadness at all, but things that used to bring joy now leave you indifferent. This experience is described on the page “Anhedonia: nothing feels enjoyable”.
- Apathy. Indifference comes to the fore instead of sadness. If, alongside sadness, you feel indifferent to things that used to matter, our article on apathy can help you understand this experience.
- Emotional numbness. Feelings are muted rather than heavy: it is hard to feel either sadness or joy. If there is more silence than sadness inside, compare your state with the description of emotional numbness.
These states often overlap, so a single feature does not yet show which of them you have.
Which changes are worth noticing?
Persistent sadness and melancholy involve a lasting sense of sadness, emotional heaviness, despondency or emotional pain.
Think back to an ordinary recent day: what has become harder compared with a time when sadness was not getting in the way? If you cannot remember such a time, start with what is troubling you now.
- How long have you been feeling sad?
- Is the sadness there for most of the day, or does it come and go?
- How much does sadness interfere with work, study, relationships, rest or looking after yourself?
- Have you lost interest or enjoyment in activities you used to enjoy?
- Has your sleep changed: is it harder to fall asleep, do you wake up early, or do you need to sleep longer?
- Has your appetite changed?
- Do you have less energy for your usual activities?
- Is it harder to concentrate?
- Have you been feeling hopeless, helpless, guilty or worthless?
Notice which change is affecting you most. It can be a starting point for a conversation about getting help.
If starting tasks is difficult, “I don’t want to do anything” explores how a loss of motivation can affect you.
If you answered “no” to almost all of the questions, see point 3 in the section “How can you decide what to do next?”.
If sadness and changes in everyday life are troubling you, you can discuss them with a psychiatrist. They can help you understand what these changes are linked to and choose the right support with you.
Sadness, loss and other possible explanations
Sadness may be connected with loss, loneliness, exhaustion or other circumstances. You do not need to set yourself a deadline for “getting over it”. At the same time, persistent changes in sleep, appetite, interest and the ability to look after yourself should be assessed together.
- Loss. The sadness centres on what has been lost and on memories of it. In our example, Olena finds evenings hardest, when she sits down to dinner and remembers conversations with her mother.
- Change and loneliness. Changes such as moving home, a break-up or losing your usual social circle can also leave sadness for a long time. In our example, this is how Maryna misses her courtyard and neighbours.
- Sadness without a clear reason. In our example, Bohdan and Zlata feel sad although nothing bad has happened. This does not mean they are imagining it: a doctor can help look for the cause.
- Depression. If your mood and interest in life have also been low for a long time, a doctor may consider depression as a possible explanation. They will assess how long the symptoms have lasted and how they affect daily life. Sadness alone does not yet mean that you have this disorder.
Who can you talk to about persistent sadness?
If your main difficulties involve mood, thoughts or behaviour, we recommend starting with a psychiatrist. They will assess your condition and discuss support with you. You can find out what to expect from the first meeting on the initial psychiatric consultation page.
Two kinds of observations are especially useful:
- Changes in everyday life. Tell the doctor about any loss of interest in your usual activities, lack of energy, changes in sleep or appetite, or feelings of hopelessness that you have noticed. This information helps them understand how sadness affects your life.
- Physical complaints. If you have also developed pain, marked weakness or other physical symptoms, tell the doctor. They will decide whether you need investigations or a consultation with another specialist.
You can learn about our specialists’ areas of work and experience in the clinic’s doctors’ directory.
How can you decide what to do next?
- If you have thoughts of death, suicide or harming yourself, seek urgent medical help. If you intend to act, are unsure whether you can stay safe, or have already harmed yourself, call 103 or 112 in Ukraine. Ask someone you trust to stay with you; do not wait for a routine appointment. The page “Suicidal thoughts” describes what else you can do in this situation.
- If sadness persists for around two weeks or longer, gets worse, keeps returning or noticeably affects daily life, seek professional help; we recommend starting with a psychiatrist. If you are feeling worse or finding everyday tasks difficult, you do not need to wait until two weeks have passed.
- If your sadness is linked to a clear event, such as moving home or a loss, and does not stop you from managing everyday tasks, accept help from people close to you if you have someone you can turn to for support. If the sadness grows or starts to get in the way, return to point 2.
- If none of the stories or questions on this page resembles your state, look at the section “How does sadness differ from similar states?”: one of them may be closer to your experience.
To discuss persistent sadness with a Dr.Zhyvago specialist, request a consultation.
Common questions
No. Sadness after a loss does not by itself mean you are grieving incorrectly. Feelings can come in waves: some days feel easier, while on others memories bring back the pain. There is no single correct timetable for grief.