If you are unsure you can stay safe

If you feel you may harm yourself, have developed an intention to end your life or begun preparing to do so, or are unsure whether you can stay safe, seek emergency help now.

Call 103 in Ukraine or go to your nearest emergency department.

In Ukraine, call 103 or 112. Outside Ukraine, use your local emergency number.

If possible:

  • don't be alone;
  • directly tell your loved one what is happening to you;
  • go to where other people are nearby;
  • limit access to potentially dangerous objects, medications and other means of self-harm;
  • avoid drinking alcohol or other substances that can increase impulsivity.
Not wanting to live
Not wanting to live

Feeling that you do not want to live?

You do not have to face this alone

Tell someone you trust that things are very hard and you need them nearby. A wish to disappear or not wake up is worth discussing directly with a professional. If safety is uncertain, call 103 or 112 in Ukraine now.

Contents

Two stories about a first step

Imagine Karyna saying to a friend “I want everything to stop” without knowing how to ask for support. She adds: “Please stay with me; I am finding this very hard.”

Or Ihor, who keeps working outwardly but feels in the evening that he does not want to live. Coping at work does not remove the need for help, so he tells a doctor about his state.

Karyna first of all needs someone close to be there, and Ihor needs a doctor’s help. Both steps are covered in the section “Asking someone to stay and help”.

Outward activity does not measure the depth of distress

Not wanting to live can accompany intense distress, low mood, loss or crisis. Having no specific plan does not guarantee safety. Describe the experience directly and seek assessment even if you still appear to cope.

When not wanting to live comes with a long period of low mood and loss of interest, a doctor checks for depression. This experience alone does not yet mean that you have depression, and even without it, it deserves a professional’s attention.

How would you describe not wanting to live?

Not wanting to live is a state in which a person feels they do not want to continue existing, would like to disappear, not wake up or stop experiencing their current suffering.

Describe to a professional how this happens for you. Notes are optional – describing things in your own words is enough:

  • How long has the feeling of not wanting to live lasted?
  • Is it episodic, or present most of the time?
  • Are these thoughts becoming more intense?
  • Do you have thoughts about your own death or suicide?
  • Has an intention to harm yourself appeared?
  • Have any preparatory actions taken place?

A “yes” to either of the last two questions means you cannot wait: go to the steps in the section “If you are unsure you can stay safe”.

Alike, but not the same

Not wanting to live borders on several states, and a doctor needs to understand which one is involved:

  • Thoughts about death. A person thinks about death, sometimes with fear, but does not necessarily want to disappear.
  • Suicidal thoughts. The thoughts focus specifically on suicide; then it is especially important not to stay alone.
  • Depressed mood. Sadness and heaviness last for most of the day, and not wanting to live does not always join them.

These experiences can turn into one another. So describe what you feel today.

Asking someone to stay and help

You should not wait until not wanting to live turns into specific suicidal intentions.

A psychiatrist, psychotherapist, family doctor or other mental health professional is who you should tell about your state. A specialist will be able to assess the risk, determine possible causes of the condition and offer the necessary assistance.

It is also useful not to remain completely isolated and to tell at least one close person that things are difficult for you now. Anyone supporting a person with depression should read the article “How to help someone with depression”.

You can agree with a doctor on a four-point safety plan:

  1. the first signs of things getting worse;
  2. what eases the worst moments;
  3. close people and services ready to support you;
  4. steps that reduce risk in your surroundings.

In times of severe crisis, the first priority is to get through the immediate future safely and get support.

Routine or urgent?

Persistent or repeated not wanting to live is a strong reason to see a mental health professional, even if there is no specific plan.

Emergency help is needed if:

  • there is an intention to end your life;
  • a concrete plan emerged;
  • preparatory actions began;
  • there has been a recent suicide attempt;
  • you are not sure that you can maintain your own safety.

In such a situation, call 103 or 112 in Ukraine or go to the nearest emergency department. If possible, do not be alone. Immediate risk requires emergency help; a routine appointment cannot replace it.

The initial psychiatric consultation page shows what the first appointment consists of. You can learn about each specialist’s experience in the section about our doctors.

Make time to see a psychiatrist if not wanting to live does not let go but you can keep yourself safe: together with the doctor, you will decide what support you need.

Consultation booking form.

Next steps depend on your state

  1. If there is an intention to end your life, a concrete plan, preparatory actions, a recent suicide attempt, or you are not sure you can maintain your own safety, call 103 or 112 in Ukraine or go to the nearest emergency department.
  2. If not wanting to live persists, hopelessness and isolation grow, you stop taking care of yourself or begin to see yourself as a burden, it is time to contact a mental health professional rather than wait for it to pass on its own.
  3. If not wanting to live appears even though you are coping with work and daily tasks, talk to a doctor about it all the same.
  4. If thoughts about death or long-lasting sadness feel closer to your experience, look through the points in the section “Alike, but not the same”.

Situations 2 and 3 are a reason for a routine appointment, while situation 1 calls for emergency help right now.

Consultation booking form.

Common questions

Yes. Being able to work does not mean there is no risk. Describe not wanting to live directly; you do not need to wait until every task becomes impossible.

Medical sources