Have you stopped feeling joy, hurt, amusement or sadness?

In which situations do feelings seem to switch off?

Imagine a few situations. The events are different, but each time the person feels much less than they expected to.

In these stories the event still matters, but the response to it weakens. What differs is the circumstance after which it began: prolonged pressure, a loss, tension in a relationship, new medicine. Olia noticed the numbness at a happy moment and Maksym during an argument, so it may affect more than pleasant feelings.

If at least one of these stories feels familiar, notice what came before the changes and in which situations they are more noticeable. If your circumstances are different, the section “Which emotions feel distant?” will help you work out which feelings have dulled for you.

Which emotions feel distant?

Numbness is not the same for everyone. Go through the feelings that are usually easy to recognise, and recall recent situations in which these feelings showed up.

• Joy and pleasure: good news, tasty food or favourite music hardly please you.
• Sadness: at a farewell, during a sad film or a conversation about loss, you cannot cry even when you want to.
• Anger: unfairness or an insult leaves you almost indifferent.
• Tenderness and closeness: a hug from your child, partner or friend feels like a formality.
• Fear and anxiety: things that should put you on guard do not worry you. Sometimes it is the other way round: anxiety remains while other feelings have dulled.

Compare this with how you reacted to similar events before your feelings dulled. If the numbness has lasted a long time and that period is hard to recall, it is enough to describe one recent situation: what happened, what reaction you expected from yourself and what you actually felt.

What comes next depends a lot on what you have noticed:

• Almost all feelings have dulled, both pleasant and unpleasant. This change is called emotional numbness.
• Only some feelings are muted, such as joy and interest. Compare your state with those described in the section “Numbness or something else?”.
• You cannot name which feelings have changed. That is an answer too: with numbness, emotions are often hard to tell apart. In that case, describe the situation rather than the feelings, as in our example with Artem and his son’s drawing.
• The numbness has lasted for weeks or is already distancing you from the people close to you. At an initial consultation, a psychiatrist can help find out what it is linked to: stress, mood changes, a loss you have been through or medicine. For this conversation it is enough to describe a few situations, even if you cannot name your feelings yet.

What can you do while your feelings are muted?

Do not try to force yourself to feel. Constantly checking whether joy has returned usually only draws attention to its absence.

• Stay in touch with the people close to you, even when strong feelings are missing. You can say directly: ‘It’s hard for me to feel much right now, but being with you matters to me’. This makes it easier for them not to take your reserve as indifference, as happened with Maksym’s wife in our example.
• Return to familiar activities in small portions: a walk along a familiar route, a short meeting with a friend, one song you used to like. The aim is not necessarily to feel joy, but not to withdraw from life while your feelings are dulled.
• Notice faint responses, including physical ones: the warmth of the sun, the taste of coffee, relief after a shower. Even barely noticeable, they can show that your reactions have not disappeared completely.

These steps do not bring feelings back on command. They help you keep your relationships and usual rhythm of life while you find out what the numbness is linked to. Possible causes are covered in the section “Why might feelings become dulled?”.

Why might feelings become dulled?

There may be several reasons, and they often overlap in time.

• Prolonged stress and exhaustion. Emotional responses can weaken along with your energy, as in our example with Artem.
• A loss or a traumatic event. Numbness can be part of the reaction to what happened, as in our example with Nataliia. If it does not pass and intrusive memories, nightmares or constant alertness are added to it, this is a reason to seek help.
• Medicines. Some of them, including antidepressants, can mute not only anxiety or sadness but also pleasant feelings, as in our example with Yuliia.
• Depression. Emotional numbness can also be one of its signs, especially when it lasts for weeks together with low mood, loss of interest and changes in sleep. Our article on depression explains how these changes are assessed. Numbness alone does not yet mean that you have this disorder.

So there is no need to rush into explaining numbness only as a ‘defence reaction’ or tiredness: it is more important to notice what it followed and what is happening alongside it.

Numbness or something else?

Similar changes can occur with other conditions. If you understand which one is closest to yours, it is easier to explain to a doctor what exactly has changed.

• Loss of pleasure. Mainly joy and interest are muted, while sadness and anxiety remain. In our example with Yuliia, both anxiety and joy have dulled, so her state is closer to numbness. The page “Anhedonia: nothing feels enjoyable” covers loss of pleasure in detail.
• Apathy. Feelings may remain, but the wish to act on your own initiative fades: a person enjoys something pleasant when it happens but does not start anything themselves. The page on apathy looks at this loss of initiative.
• A sense of unreality. You feel as if you were watching yourself from the outside or as if the world around you has become unreal. This can happen on its own or together with numbness. If it happens to you, be sure to mention it when you seek help.
• Persistent sadness. Feelings do not dull: sadness stays and does not let go even on calm days. The page on persistent sadness describes how it looks in an ordinary day and when help is needed.

One person can have several of these changes at once. Tell the doctor about all the ones you have noticed, even if some seem minor.

Who can help, and what should you tell them?

You can start with a psychiatrist. At the consultation, they will ask when and after what your feelings dulled, which emotions have changed, how you sleep, whether you drink alcohol and what medicines you take. The doctor will then discuss with you what help would suit you. The initial psychiatric consultation page explains what to expect from your first conversation with the doctor.

If the numbness began after a loss or a traumatic event, it can also be addressed in psychotherapy. You can learn about this format of work on the page about the psychotherapy consultation.

The page of the clinic’s doctors describes their experience and can help you choose a specialist before booking.

What to do next: a quick guide

1. If, alongside the numbness, you have thoughts that life is not worth living or thoughts of suicide, seek help today: tell a doctor or someone close to you about them. If you are in immediate danger, call 103 or 112 in Ukraine. The page “Suicidal thoughts” describes what else you can do in this situation.
2. If your feelings dulled after you started a new medicine or switched to another one, do not stop taking it on your own, but discuss it with the doctor who prescribed it. Stopping some medicines abruptly, including antidepressants, can cause unpleasant symptoms, and the doctor will decide whether anything needs to change.
3. If the numbness has not passed for several weeks, keeps coming back or is already affecting your relationships and work, book a consultation with a psychiatrist. Do not delay if it appeared after a traumatic event, comes with a sense of unreality or detachment from yourself, or is combined with low mood.
4. If your feelings dulled after a short stressful period and are gradually coming back, stay in touch with the people close to you and keep up familiar activities, as described in the section “What can you do while your feelings are muted?”. If the numbness does not pass, return to point 3.
5. If none of the stories or points resembles your experience, look through other symptoms on the site: what you notice may be described on another page.