When life looks the same but feels different
Imagine a few people with different habits. Notice what each has begun to miss.
Myroslava no longer chooses the café
Myroslava always messaged her friends first on Fridays: she would find a new breakfast spot, send the menu and arrange a time. Lately, she replies, “Anywhere is fine.”
At the café she listens, jokes and talks about work. But on her way home she notices something: these conversations used to make her want to call someone else and keep the day going. Now the meeting is simply over. She no longer looks forward to the next one.
Yaroslav takes photographs he no longer wants to look through
For Yaroslav, a Sunday walk with his camera was the best part of the week. He would change his route for the light in a window or wait patiently for a street to empty.
He still takes his camera. Finds an angle, takes a few shots and goes home. The photographs turn out well, but he has no desire to open them on a larger screen. He misses the fascination that made him go out with his camera in the first place.
Tymofii skips the match
Tymofii used to watch football with his friends every Wednesday and looked forward to that evening all week.
Now he stays at home and scrolls the news: he does not feel like going to the match, and the feed takes no effort. An hour later he puts his phone down with the sense of an empty evening, and he does not even think about the game he missed.
Vasylyna eats because it is time to
Vasylyna used to bake a pie from her mother’s recipe every Saturday and invite her neighbour round for tea.
Now she eats when it is time to and notices that her favourite dish hardly differs from a sandwich for her. She is hungry, but eating brings no pleasure.
All four keep up their usual activities, but the enjoyment has gone out of them: out of meeting friends for Myroslava, photography for Yaroslav, football for Tymofii and food for Vasylyna.
If at least one of these stories resembles yours, note whether the change affects one activity or almost everything. If none of them fits, go back to your own day: the questions in the section “What do you notice in your day?” will help you see what has changed for you.
What might be behind this change?
A loss of enjoyment does not, on its own, explain why it is happening. The answer is found in what has changed alongside it: mood, sleep, energy, appetite and general health. These are the main possible explanations.
Depression
Reduced interest and enjoyment is one of the main signs of depression. If low mood, problems with sleep or appetite, tiredness and hopelessness persist alongside it for most of the day, a psychiatrist checks whether you may have this disorder. A loss of enjoyment on its own does not yet mean that you have this disorder.
Our overview of this disorder explains which changes depression involves. The depression signs test can help you gather your observations before talking to a doctor, but it is not used to make a diagnosis.
Exhaustion and long-term stress
After a long period of overload, lack of sleep or a hard time, joy can fade along with your energy. In that case, rest and sleep often gradually bring interest back. If that does not happen, it is worth looking further for the cause.
Trauma
After distressing events, interest in former activities can fade along with other reactions: intrusive memories, nightmares, constant alertness. This combination is a reason to seek help.
Medicines and health
Some medicines, including antidepressants, sometimes dull emotions, joy among them. Similar changes can also occur with some illnesses, such as thyroid problems. If the change coincided with starting or changing treatment, tell your doctor. Do not change your medication on your own.
If you are enjoying things noticeably less and this persists or gets in the way of your life, a psychiatrist can help you work out what lies behind the change and choose the right help with you.
Book a consultation.What do you notice in your day?
Think of an activity you used to look forward to. What happens now: do you not want to start, or do you start but feel little enjoyment?
- Is there anything you still enjoy, even a little?
- Does the change affect one activity or almost everything?
- When did you notice it, and does it keep happening?
- How are work, social contact and looking after yourself now?
- Have your mood, sleep, appetite or energy changed as well?
Reduced or lost enjoyment is called anhedonia. The term helps name the experience, but its cause still needs to be explored.
If the change affects one or two activities while everything else still brings enjoyment, it may simply be a shift in interests. The page on loss of interest in usual activities explains where the line lies.
If enjoyment has gone from almost everything and your mood, sleep or energy have changed with it, go back to the explanations in the section “What might be behind this change?”.
How does loss of enjoyment differ from apathy, sadness and numbness?
These experiences are often confused, although they are about different things: whether you want to act, what you feel, and whether what you already do brings enjoyment.
- Apathy. You hardly want to start anything, but once something has begun, enjoyment may appear. For Yaroslav in our example it is the other way round: he takes his camera and goes out to shoot, but the photographs bring no joy. If your main difficulty is starting any activity, even without expecting enjoyment, it may also help to read about apathy.
- Persistent sadness. Sorrow and longing come first, while pleasant things may still bring joy. With anhedonia there may be no sadness at all: just emptiness where there used to be pleasure. The page on persistent sadness describes lasting sorrow.
- Emotional numbness. Almost all feelings are dulled, including sadness and anxiety, not just joy. This state is covered on the page about emotional numbness.
- Persistent fatigue. You want to do what you love, but your energy runs out at the very start. If even a small effort leaves you exhausted, it is worth describing persistent fatigue separately.
One does not exclude the other: loss of joy often comes with sadness or tiredness, and then the doctor needs to hear about all of it.
Should you try the things you used to enjoy again?
Yes, but not as a test of whether joy has returned. If you give up everything you used to enjoy, your day holds even fewer chances for a small response. So it helps not to wait for the wish to come, but to bring back one activity in a manageable amount.
How to do it:
- Choose one activity and make it smaller. Instead of a whole evening with friends, a brief meeting; instead of all your interests at once, a few minutes of one. For Yaroslav, for example, taking a single photograph on the way home is enough.
- Do not aim to feel joy. The task is simply to do what you chose. If enjoyment appears, good, but even without it the attempt was not wasted.
- Afterwards, notice how you feel. Was anything a little easier? Did you have enough energy? If enjoyment did not return, your next attempt does not need to become a test you must pass.
If nothing changes after several attempts like this, it does not mean you have not tried hard enough. It is an important observation worth telling a doctor about.
Who can help if enjoyment does not come back?
It is worth starting with a psychiatrist: they will work out what the loss of enjoyment is linked to and choose help together with you. It is enough to describe what you used to enjoy, what happens now and when you noticed the difference. How the first meeting works and what you will be asked are described on the initial psychiatric consultation page.
If you have physical complaints, mention them too: the doctor will decide whether you need to see another specialist. You can explore the specialists’ areas of practice and experience on the clinic’s doctors page.
Your next step
- If thoughts of death or of harming yourself appear along with the loss of joy, do not wait for a routine appointment: seek help the same day, and if you are in immediate danger, call 103 or 112 in Ukraine. How to act in this situation is described on the page “Suicidal thoughts”.
- If you enjoy things noticeably less almost every day and your mood, sleep, energy or appetite have changed as well, book a consultation with a psychiatrist. Two weeks is one reference point in assessing depression, not a requirement to delay seeking help.
- If the change worries you or affects your work, social contact or looking after yourself, you can also discuss it with a doctor: you do not have to wait until every area of life becomes difficult.
- If joy faded after a hard period and is gradually returning with rest, bring back one activity using the steps in the section “Should you try the things you used to enjoy again?”. If enjoyment does not return, go to point 2.
- If you mostly do not want to start anything, feel sadness, or feel almost nothing, compare your state with the descriptions in the section “How does loss of enjoyment differ from apathy, sadness and numbness?”.
Online throughout Ukraine and in person in Kyiv.
Common questions
Some pleasant moments may remain. What matters is whether you experience noticeably less enjoyment than before the change began and how this change affects your everyday life.
You might say: “It is harder for me to enjoy socialising at the moment. I do not always have the energy to meet up, but I want to stay in touch.”
If it is hard to find the words, you could show them this page.
Changing activities does not guarantee that enjoyment will return. You can try things you have the energy for, but persistent worsening is worth discussing with a professional, even if you have already had a break.
Not quite. Wanting to eat, enjoying food and sensing flavour are different things. Tell your doctor what has changed, especially if eating adequately has become difficult or your weight has changed noticeably.
Medical sources
This material is based on the clinical sources listed below.